· By Darby Foxx
How To Be A Good Hook Up Host: A Guide
So, you're hosting a hook up. Finally! It's your moment. The anticipation and excitement of a hot encounter. But you also want him to come back often. Don't worry - we got you! You want a great experience otherwise your guest or guests are going to walk away never to return. So let's go through our checklist and make sure you got everything you need!
Preparing Your Fab Pad
- Tidy Up: This should go without saying but it needs said - clean up! Got laundry sitting all over? Put it away. Tons of dishes from dinner last night? Clean them! That's gross and it'll make you look like a pig and not the fun kind.
- Bathroom: I'll try not to be horrible here, but there is a chance your guest will use your restroom. Maybe he wants to use the sink to wash off after? Maybe he needs to shower quick because he's going home to the wife? Or he might need to just pee. But have a clean bathroom including toilet and shower. Mildew and nasty toilets are huge turnoffs.
- Freshen the Air: Don't go overboard here, but scent is key. Have a subtle candle going or spray a little (not a lot!) of cologne in the air. Don't have either? Open a window!
- Set the Scene: Have some porn playing, music, and make sure the lighting is right. Don't go overboard here but something other than you sitting alone in silence waiting.
- Prepare the Fuck Space: If you're hooking up in the bedroom - make sure your bed is made or sheets have been washed. When you don't wash it bedding it can stink and not in a cute way. Hooking up in the living room? Make sure it's ready to go too - you don't have anything blocking your ability to get tossed around.
Essential Supplies
- Lube: Should be obvious but make sure you have some. Your guest might bring his favorite, but make sure you have the kind you love. If you're bottoming, it's important it's a lube that you enjoy too!
- Condoms: You may negotiate to go bareback beforehand and that's great, but you might change your mind and that's okay!
- Mouthwash: If you're gagging on his big eggplant - it can be stinky if you haven't brushed your teeth since the morning. That coffee breath on a dick can be...unpleasant.
- Towels: This should be obvious but it isn't to a lot of hosts. Have a towel. I know he's going to swallow and that helps with clean up, but there's also a ton of drool all over. Just have a towel or two handy - it'll make clean up a breeze.
- Poppers, Toys, Oh My!: This may have been negotiated before but having a couple other supplies on hand can be fun. Maybe you want tied up? Well make sure to have something to do the tying. If you'd like poppers, make sure you have your own!
Creating a Naughty Atmosphere
- Be Yourself: Let your personality shine through and have fun! Don't be someone you're not, unless you're roleplaying.
- Communicate Openly: Talk to your new friend about their preferences and comfort level. This will help you tailor the experience to their needs.
- Respect Boundaries: Always respect your guest's boundaries and consent. Never pressure them to do anything they're not comfortable with.
Pre-Hook-Up Prep
- Look Your Best: A little extra effort can go a long way. Take a shower, brush your teeth, and put on some sexy underwear. You want to feel confident!
- Hygiene: Depending on who is topping or bottoming - don't forget the hygiene. If you're bottoming, make sure to douche or at least shower very well in advance. There's nothing worse than the excitement and all the effort of hooking up to stick it in and it's just covered in poopiness. Or there's a bad smell. Take the time to make sure things are tidy around your home and in your pants.
- Offer a Drink: Depending on the situation, a drink is an acceptable offer. Maybe they want a glass of water nearby or a vodka. Just depends on the situation and vibes.
- Gay Small Talk....And Fuck: So we've all done the weird awkward gay small talk where you're complimenting their shirt and suddenly you're making out. It's weird...it's dumb. But someone has to make the first move. It's okay to do the silly small talk, just don't forget to make a move!
Post-Hook-Up Etiquette
- Compliment Your Friend: It's okay to say "that's so hot" or I had a hook up once even tell me "you always know how to get it out of me" (meaning his cum). It feels good. Some even send the weird text after saying how good it was like leaving a review.
- Show Them The Door: I've messed around in offices and they can be confusing! It's a smart idea to make sure your friend knows how to get out. Walk them to the door, give them another kiss, or tell them see you soon.
- Stay in Touch: It's okay to hit someone up again! Sometimes a FWB is the best situation because there's less stress and more naughty fun.
The Bottom Line
Hosting a hook-up can be a sexy experience if done right. By creating a welcoming and inviting atmosphere, you can ensure that your new friend feels sexy, appreciated, and wants to come back for more. Remember, the most important thing is to be yourself, communicate openly, and respect your guest's boundaries.