Ask Grandma Phag: My Roommate Caught Me With My Fleshlight!

Dear Grandma Phag,

I live with a roommate who I've known for five years. He's gay, and I'm bi. Last week, I thought I had plenty of alone time so I greased up my eggplant and was enjoying a long night of fucking my fleshlight, fingering my hole, and of course I was filming this for my alt twitter.

In the middle of me humping a pocket booty toy, my roommate came home and caught me. He was at the door for I don't know how long. Now he knows I post videos of myself and doesn't care. But he watched it and was clearly into it.

When I realized he was there, I stopped, apologized, and ran off to my room with the toy still around my sausage. The next morning felt awkward, but I just acted like nothing happened. But, I get the feeling he was into it and would have wanted to do something to assist me.

What should I do? Do I talk to him about this? Do I apologize? Do I hook up with my roommate? I don't want to date him but an easy to find mouth wouldn't be a bad thing...

Cumming In Seattle 

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Dear Cumming In Seattle, 

Oh honey, you've got quite the pickle on your hands, haven't you? Let's break this down, shall we? First off, let me commend you on your...enthusiasm for solo playtime. You're living your truth, and that's what matters. But let's talk about this roommate situation.

Now, he's seen your sausage in action, more or less. And let's be honest, who wouldn't be a little curious? But before you dive headfirst into a roommate rendezvous, consider this: you two have a certain dynamic. If it works, it works, but if it doesn't, you could end up with a roommate from hell, or worse, a roommate with your used toys.

So, here’s my advice: Have a heart-to-heart. No, not about your eggplant, silly! Ask him how he feels about the whole situation. Maybe he's just as shocked as you are, or maybe he's been harboring a secret desire for a roommate with benefits. Either way, communication is key, darling.

And remember, if he turns you down, that's okay. You can always go back to your trusty fleshlight and alt twitter. After all, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Love,

Grandma Phag