YAY! You found a partner that you want to have sex with. Whether you found them on Grindr or in class, you know you want to feel comfortable when it starts to happen. Every queer person knows the fear of having an accident all over your partner or your bed while engaging in anal sex – it is perfectly normal.

Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go in terms of sex ed inclusivity. There were only six states that require inclusive sex-ed to be taught to their students in 2020. By contrast, there are 37 states that require abstinence to be included in curricula. That being said, you likely did not learn much, if anything, about LGBTQ+ sex. Which means you also did not learn how to prepare for anal sex, or more specifically, how to douche.

Well do not worry – we have you covered. Below, you will find step-by-step instructions and safety tips to ensure your next adventure is thrilling for all parties involved.

Step by Step

1. Grab your materials. Make sure whatever materials you use are thoroughly cleaned. What you use really depends on personal preference, so you have a few options:
1. Enema device
1. Shower enema: a hose attachment for your shower, but hard to adjust pressure and temperature. Be careful with these if you do decide to use them.
2. Enema bulb: what you will find at most sex shops. A bulb with a plastic nozzle that you fill with water or saline
3. Fleet enema: one time use enema that you can find at any drugstore. Make sure to get the one that has normal water or saline in it, not the one that has a laxative solution in it
4. Enema bag: Like the bulb, but comes with a bag that you fill with water, attach a
2. Liquid:
1. Water: the easiest and quickest option, but make sure to use lukewarm/room temperature water. Your mucosal lining is much more sensitive to temperature than your skin or mouth, so be careful to not burn yourself.
2. Saline: better for you, especially if you are douching more frequently.
3. Lubricant: whatever your favorite lube is. Make sure to lube up whatever nozzle to prevent scratches or irritation.
2. Fill up your device with your liquid, whether it be water or saline.
3. Get in the shower in whatever position feels most comfortable. Some people prefer standing with a leg up on the bathtub, while others prefer laying down in the shower with their legs in the air.
4. Gently insert the lubricated nozzle into your anus and squeeze the bulb to release the liquid.
5. If possible, hold the solution inside of you for a few seconds. Some people like to jump up and down while holding it in. Let it out into the toilet.
6. Repeat this process until the liquid coming out is clear.
7. Take a shower after this process and thoroughly clean your bottom.
8. You are ready to go have the night of your life!

What not to do

Douching can be dangerous if done incorrectly. To prevent injury, follow our list of what NOT to do when preparing to bottom:

• NEVER use household liquids like olive oil, feminine hygiene products, lemon juice, or vinegar, which can lead to damage the lining of the rectum
• Do not use laxatives to clean out your system
• Do not douche too much or too often. Doing so will cause an imbalance of electrolytes and can lead to infection. You also do not need that much water to begin with. You only need to clean out the rectum, not shoot water all the way to your intestines

Other tips

• Anal douching has been known to increase rates of transmission of STI’s such as HIV and chlamydia, so make sure to use condoms with partners unless you know their current testing status
• ALWAYS lube the tip of the enema bulb or whatever you are using.
• You are NOT required to douche before sex. More often than not, if you are eating a fiber rich diet and do not have any medical conditions, you can get perfectly clean by taking a shower and thoroughly rinsing your anus and rectum.
• Give it a little bit of time before meeting up with your partner. All the water might not come out right away, so have a buffer. We recommend waiting an hour or so after douching before having sex.

The Bottom line

Be careful and smart when it comes to douching. Don’t overdo it, and you will be just fine. Always remember – poop is normal. We know you want to avoid it, but just communicate with your partner and put towels down if you are extra nervous.