How to Hook Up When Roommate Is Around

Roommates are no longer just for college students. Rent is way too high and buying a house is becoming more & more difficult to do. Which means many of us have roommates in often times smaller apartments. Research even backs up this growth in number of adults who have a roommate. Maybe you don't have just one roommate - maybe you share a house with three, four, or even five people.

Even if you have lived your whole life with someone else, there is still a delicate dance to getting down and dirty with your partner(s). Maybe your roommate is home all day so there isn't a great time. Maybe your roommate is straight so you feel awkward bringing home that hunk from the bar. We're here to help you out!

Household Chat

Got a new roomie? Start a group chat. Lived together with same three guys for five years? Start a group chat. Group chats are a handy tool to ensure everyone is in the loop with what is going on. Don't use it for just annoying "wash the dishes" comments. Use it to build a community and one where you can share what is going on. If you know you have a date coming over, give the group chat a heads up. You don't have to share the dirty filthy details - but a heads up so your roommates aren't alarmed if a total stranger is having breakfast with them.

Here is a big bonus - your date will appreciate this too! No one likes to spend the night somewhere, wake up, and run into roommates who have no idea someone is there. Awkward drama can be a bit of a turn off for your date and you may want to invite him over later in the week. 

Household Calendar

It isn't extra to set up a household calendar. Your options can range from a sexy calendar put up in the kitchen to a totally digital calendar.  You can easily see when someone is having their parents over, maybe a hot date night, or celebrating each other's birthdays. Information and clear communication is key so why not use a helpful tool! Plus you can easily know when the roommate is out of town for that special weekend you want.  

Alexa, Play Spicy Time

Yeah, my sexy time playlist is called Spicy Time. Yes, it includes upbeat songs to pump up to. Music can be a helpful tool to frankly cover up the noise. Drown out those moans, groans, growls, and "yes daddy."  Frankly, your roommate will know what you're up to but also appreciate the fact there is a bit of mystery between you two.

The Stank

Let's be honest, anal sex can stink. It can smell like a big bowl of diarrhea & sweat. This stank doesn't just disappear easily, it can stick around like the worst fart on the planet. I know some of you might think "well anal sex - smell happens!" It does happen, and we aren't judging that. You can douche until the water is crystal clear, but smell can easily bubble up. Try our Sweet Hole or Scrubs to give your buns a fresh scent or to quickly shower off that unpleasant stank. You can also try candles, sprays, or an ex of mine would spray cologne all over.

Location, Location, Location

Not all places are built equally. This we know, but if you are someone who likes to have a lot of sex - at least more than your roommates - then when you are picking a place to live, make sure the rooms are not side by side or across the hall from one another. You will not have to worry about noise control if you are area is far as fuck from theirs.

Noise-Cancelling Headphones

If you are willing to drop $40 or more on some noise-canceling headphones for your roommate so you can howl like your life depended on it during sex, then by all means - do it. If you ain’t ready to spend that kind of cash, then you can pick up a pack of earplugs from any drug store for no more than $10.

Silent Bed

Sometimes it is not even us who are loud, it is what we are fucking on. Creaky beds that sound like haunted house floors every time you move, yeah...not your friend if you are trying to fuck with minimal noise complaints from the roommates. There are several ways to fix a loud bed though; tightening screws, securing the headboard to the wall so it does not clap back like a dissed Queen, or lubing it up with some WD-40.

Shower time!

Okay, this is only a suggestion if you have your own, or the person you are fucking has been around longer than one night. If either of those is the case, then go balls deep in the shower and let the sound of the water drown out the moans and groans of your passion. Don't forget to use some of our Charcoal Body Wash when in the shower to make sure you're both squeaky clean when leaving. 

Smelly Sex

Let's be blunt here - anal sex or any sex can stink. That's the painful truth. Try using a Body Scrub to do that deep clean beforehand to help out. You can always spray some Febreze after but just remember - your roommate can smell your stank and it isn't cute. 

Bottom Line

Here's the most important part - clearly communicate with your roommate. Maybe you'd feel more comfortable if they went out for the night. If so, tell them, and offer to pay for their movie night. Seriously - don't just kick them out with nothing! If your roommate is maybe getting down all over and you don't like it - communicate! This is your home too and you're potentially paying the same amount. Respect & communication are key for any good rooming situation. And