As Moulin Rouge taught us, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. Dating, hooking up, and just finding someone to connect with can be the most frustrating thing on the planet. Why didn't he text me back right away? What does this gif even mean? Did I do something wrong?
More and more are people are coming out as pansexual, bisexual, or not even identifying with a word. The world is quickly becoming a buffet of options with all the stress & frustration of dating in today's world. A common misconception among gay men can be that bisexual or pansexual men might be just "on their way to gay" or not worth the time because they're just "confused."
So let's together walk through a little 101 on how to date a bisexual man. We're here to go along the journey with you!
Do Bisexual Guys Cheat?
Cheating happens. Feeling hurt happens in many relationships. We are not here to say that cheating won't ever happen. The most important thing is honest, open, and frank dialogue with your partner(s) so the chance of hurt feelings can be reduced.
Do Bisexual Guys Cheat more than anyone else? No. There's nothing to point to this stereotype being true. Do people cheat? Sadly, yeah. Jerks happen. This stereotype should not stop you from seeking out something fun and exciting to be involved in.
If you still are struggling with these stereotypes, reach out to a bisexual organization to learn more.
Do Bisexuals Like the Same Thing as Gay Men?
Could a bisexual guy be interested in musicals, fashion, & Real Housewives? Yeah sure. Could a bisexual guy be interested in ESPN, football, & drinking beer? Yeah sure. Everyone is unique and has their own personalities. This is just standard for any relationship - what matters to you in terms of their interests and your interests. Some relationships are founded on the fact they have such divergent interests, but they get along great because of this.
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Bisexual Guys are Total Tops, Right?
No. Maybe when he's with a dude he likes his legs up in the air. Maybe when he's with a woman, she's pegging him. As we know in the gay community, there are numerous positions, fetishes, kinks, and options available during sexy time. Maybe he just wants to do mutual masturbation. Maybe he wants you to bend over his car hood & ravage your booty.
As with anything, clear communication is the key. Tell your partner(s) what you want, expect, and/or need. Maybe he wants something that you usually don't do, but you're okay trying out. Sex should be mutually satisfying to everyone involved - not just one person being greedy. Don't be greedy. Greedy partners don't get a second round. Make sure to brush up on some LGBTQ sex facts before you find that next partner.
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Yes, Other People Judge
Will someone make a judgmental comment about you dating a bisexual guy? Probably. That's not okay, and we're sorry in advance for anyone who wants to be dumb like that. Stereotypes of bisexuals are rampant. People pick up these stereotypes from social media, TV, movies, music, & just simply from other people expressing their fears of bisexuals. You could even receive the random shade from a friend thinking they are being cute. You are more than welcome to read them right back.
Be proud of whoever your partner(s) is. As the great RuPaul says, "if they ain't paying your rent, pay those bitches no mind." This is true in this case. If you are happy, that is all that matters. Some people like to throw shade because they are jealous you found someone. Be proud. Be happy. Have fun.
Okay, but yet again I need to ask, are Bisexual Guys committed?
Having honest, open, & frank conversations are key. If you and your new bisexual boyfriend want to be monogamous, have that conversation. What will make you feel fulfilled in this relationship? What will make him feel fulfilled? If you disagree about the situation, it is okay to simply move on. Or maybe you've found the hunk of your dreams.
He might have needs and desires that as a guy you are unable to fulfill for him. Your new bisexual boyfriend might like the opportunity to hook up with women. If you're okay with that or even want to try joining in, have fun! Remember, dating is a buffet of options. Go out and see what is new & exciting for you. You want him to be happy as well. Bisexuals face barriers to their mental health due to a "double closet" experience.
How do I express my needs? How can I listen to his needs?
Talking to your partner(s) about sexual needs can be different. There are lots of suggestions out there. Our advice is to always be honest & open. If you want to try something, say it. I know it can be weird to say "please eat my ass like a cupcake." But if that's what you need and will make you happy, say it!
It's equally important when telling your partner(s) about your needs, to ask them what they'd like. If you are dating a bisexual guy, he might want to just bottom. He isn't that top you dreamed of simply because he's bisexual. He might ask if a woman can join sometimes. You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with or need more information on. It's important to always listen though and provide what you can for your partner(s) that is within your comfort level.
If you're met a hottie bisexual guy, go get him! We only go around this world once and it's important to enjoy life & love as much as you can.
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