Societal ideas of dating & relationships is evolving. Remember the idea of finding your "high school sweetheart" and that's who you spend the rest of your days with? No more! More queer individuals are taking these heteronormative ideas of what a relationship are and throwing them out the window.
The idea of an open relationship is no longer taboo. And quite frankly, many find that it benefits their relationship long-term. Having a successful open relationship takes work. It isn't easy for everyone. And everyone involved in the relationship has to feel valued and wanted. Here are our quick tips on a successful open relationship!
Ask Questions, Give Honest Answers, & Listen To Each Other
If your plan with an open relationship is to bang every hole you see - probably not the best of intentions here. When starting our in an open relationship or maybe you're years into one - you need to have open communication. Ask each other questions. You're in a relationship - answer them honestly and sincerely. If something is making you uncomfortable - share that. If this relationship is to work you have to have this open communication.
Most important of all - listen to each other. Hear what each other is saying about how you feel, experiences that are happening, and maybe what the goal is of this open relationship. Are you trying to spice things up? Are you just incredibly horny but honestly douching everyday is not as exciting? Be honest and open!
Every Pole Is Not A Goal
Being open doesn't mean you go after every booty or pole you find. Sometimes awkward situations can unfold with an open relationship. Let's say you're on Grindr and you find a former coworker of your boyfriend. Does riding that former coworker like a pony benefit your relationship or could it cause hurt?
I know that sounds maybe common sense, but the old saying is "don't shit where you eat" comes into play here. Don't do it. The former coworker could be the hunk of your dreams - but you don't know all the details of your boyfriend's professional relationship with him.
Also, safety is important here. Don't put yourself in a dangerous situation hooking up with a random. Your partner cares about you. Be safe. Be smart. And of course - test yourself often to ensure you don't give your partner something they didn't sign up for.
This Will Take Work
Being in an open relationship is a lot of work. Communicating can feel tiresome somedays. This work will be beneficial. If your partner doesn't want to know any details - don't share any details or bring the sex home. If your partner wants to maybe bring in a third - communicate and be open to who that might be.
This is a lot of work - but being in a successful open relationship can make your time together last longer and be more passionate.
The Bottom Line
This open relationship is to benefit everyone involved. Listen. Talk. Communicate. And most importantly make each other happy!
I’m in an open relationship. It works just fine as long as we both set our rules. Our rules are no kissing, no staying over at someone else’s place, & no texting with someone when done. I don’t want to get feels for someone else, and neither does my boyfriend. Works great to set those boundaries since love is just a hormone that can happen when you have lots of physical interactions.